I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
