We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
