Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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