Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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