There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
