it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
