I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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