we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
They left me at home... I'm a liability
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
