I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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