he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
