Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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