Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
