the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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