lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
