Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
