I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
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