hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
