I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
