sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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