I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
