yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
