Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
