K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
