Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
