3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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