I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
