i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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