so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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