I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
