So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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