i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
They have beer where we have blood.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
