If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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