My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
