He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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