I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
