I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
