this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
