Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
