Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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