i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
