So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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