yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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