The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
