it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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