check it out our google latitudes are spooning
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
