It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
