Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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