i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
