I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
