you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
