That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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