I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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