So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
