Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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