ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I want a musical about memes.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
