Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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