I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
