Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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