It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
