There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Do you have feelings for this penis?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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