i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
