remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
