You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
