Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
birth control should be required to get into college
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
