Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I want a musical about memes.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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