It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
In other news, I just burned my penis
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
this is an emotional support booty call
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
