I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
nutella sex= disaster
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You can't just leave with hair like that
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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