The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize