So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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