if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
If i come over, it means nothing
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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