She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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