So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
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