I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
