i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
