I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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