Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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